This week the media was outraged by David Cameron leaving his kid at the pub. I interviewed a mother from the Seventies in response to this who yawned and said, "I left my son in the frozen peas section of Gateway one half term. When I saw him again his hair had grown and he had frostbite, but was otherwise unharmed."
I was raised in the Seventies. Back then, our mums looked like this.
|Mums from the Seventies |
when they were only 40
They wore clothes for comfort and enjoyed Cinzano of an afternoon. We were the generation that waited for the TV to warm up and our semolina to cool down.
Modern parenting - by the time your children reach school age - is ridiculously competitive. I say the human race has advanced enough. It's time to turn back the clock, to regress. It’s time to unleash the
So what is a cushy parent? You are a cushy parent if you:
1) are prone to putting your child in the garden whilst you watch Bergerac. When you do finally look outside, your child has dug a 2-foot hole in the lawn with a cake server.
2) smile during school assembly when the prize for best miniature Olympic stadium goes to Billy Bucked Teeth because of his solar lighting (the other infants were foolish enough to opt for electricity). Afterwards, you praise your tearful child for their naive effort - a couple toilet rolls stuck to a tea tray.
3) say things to your child like, "No I'm not going to organise a play date. Pick your own damned friends, will you?"
It's almost impossible to tell from external appearances exactly who is pushy and who is cushy. I've had many a friend profess to being a slob, only for them to sneak home to read their child Proust.
|It’s so hard to tell who is a pushy parent. Most people look normal enough….|
Don't be depressed by the perfection around you. Come join me here at the cushy parent's blog. Have a laugh, relax, look your age and remember our motto: cushy not pushy!
See you soon,